MMR Community Newsletter

July 11, 2014 Comments (0)

This issue will have a photographic bent. Beginning with our lead image and eye candy by MMR Newsletter Editor and Photographer Dom Miliano.

Michael Furman photography -- silver Jaguar D-Type

Michael Furman’s featured image is the silver Jaguar D-Type.

Never aware that he is a car person, we often receive informative and entertaining information about photography by a Malaysian blogger named Ming Thein. His latest blog compares the two worlds in a country where import duties and taxes oblige enthusiasts of each to make hard choices.

F1 – FLASH! MMR GOES TABLOID!

MMR Publisher explains, “We Stoop to Conquer”.

Peter the Publisher says: In a desperate effort to grow our audience we are abandoning insightful commentary for rumor and innuendo. It comes more naturally to us, it is more fun, and it is cheaper. Modeled on the British tabloids and the ever irreverent The Onion, but smaller, we will be henceforth known as The Weekly Leek.

We need a motto. All suggestions are welcome and the winner will receive a Ferrari Transporter image signed by Denise McCluggage.

This is our sample; please tell us what you think.

Coronation Street debuted 54 years ago and is the second longest running soap opera production in Britain. Formula 1 is the first! One moment distraught and depressed, the next exultant and ebullient, Lewis Hamilton is the lead car occupant on an emotional roller coaster ride that appears to have countless Brits crammed into all the following cars. The lives of his and previous F1 drivers still dominate the front pages of the tabloids in Britain much as the antics of rich and infamous do in America. Seemingly, the more flawed their native heroes, the better the Brits love ‘em. Nigel Mansell (net worth $90M), the talented but emotionally unbalanced star of the ‘80s, while considered the punch line for most insider F1 jokes elsewhere, remains “their Nige”. Scoop: The Weekly Leek has learned that three weeks ago, in a private ceremony , Nige was knighted by the Queen. All did not go well. As tradition demands, his sovereign tapped him on each shoulder with her sword. Sir Nigel promptly fell to the ground writhing in pain and was taken to Royal & Ancient Dumbugger Hospital where, at his insistence, he was pronounced dead. Before him, James Hunt, only recently sanitized by Hollywood, was the perfect walking disaster that sold newspapers all day long. The will he or won’t he aspect of their lives and those of their relatives, acquaintances and dog walkers, are fodder for an insatiable public that can seemingly never get enough.

The Weekly Leek Predicts! At some point within the next two years, Hamilton will be back at McLaren and British tabloids will have their biggest sales day since Charles discussed personal hygiene with Camilla! “McLaren is mother’s milk to Lewis and the only place in the pits where he is consistently loved” Ronny Dennis recently told The Weekly Leek.

Meanwhile, the somewhat less loved Kimi Raikkonen (net worth $130M), whose crash last weekend is a metaphor for his season, and his career, has announced that when his Ferrari contract expires at the end of next year, he will no longer race in F1. Hmmm. The Weekly Leek wants to know: What is it he doesn’t get?

Flash News for Kimi! From Shakespeare’s Henry V to the troops before the battle of Agincourt: Proclaim it through my host that he which hath no stomach to this fight, let him depart; his passport shall be made and crowns for convoy put into his purse . “We didn’t keep you on through the end of your previous contract when you won a championship for us, and we won’t do it this time either”, said Ferrari President Monty Zemolo. If, like the folks here at The Weekly Leek, you enjoy the irony of negative achievement, you have to chuckle at the fact that the Kimster has probably taken more money from the Ferrari factory for NOT doing something, than the average Ferrari employee has earned in a career of turning up every day to work.

IndyCar – Houston Race Medical Alert!

Flash! The Weekly Leek has learned that twelve IndyCar drivers were hospitalized with kidney failure after a bumpy parking lot race last weekend in Houston! IndyCar has responded by insisting that all future parking lot event cars be equipped with onboard dialysis machines. Drivers with weak kidneys or bladders are encouraged to find a smoother series. Spectators complaining of blurred vision and sore necks from trying to watch the race were advised by British doctors to sod off.

IndyCar Holds Secret Race at Obscure Location!

Pocono Raceway, best known for being one corner short and 30 miles from the home of Mario Andretti, was the site of last week’s IndyCar race. Organizers blame low attendance on either a lack of GPS satellite access in this remote area of Pennsylvania or the Tupperware party at Mario Andretti’s home.

Success Softens Penske

After 500 miles on the Pocono tri-oval, 37 year old Juan Pablo Montoya (Net worth $35M), led 39 year old Helio Castroneves (net worth $30.2M), to an exciting one two finish over their younger competitors for their jubilant 77 year old Captain, Roger Penske (Net worth $1.1B). The Weekly Leek has learned that AARP (3.1 M served) will sponsor next year’s race and only drivers qualifying for membership will be allowed to compete. The trophy party will be at inevitable race winner Mario Andretti’s house. (After the Tupperware party.)

The average speed of the race was over 102 mph and was run caution-free for 158 laps. Montoya lost the upright winglet on his front wing when he clipped the back end of Championship points leader and teammate Will Power’s (net worth N/A) car. At another point, Power, at approximately 210 mph, made what race officials judged to be one more blocking move than allowed on teammate Castroneves. The close call earned him a drive-thru penalty that may have cost him the race and most certainly a good points paying finish. But the Captain was positively exuberant in the winner’s circle and when asked about Power’s obviously dangerous move that might have cost the team two cars at the very least, seemed unphased, announcing that “they are racers”. This mellow boys will be boys attitude is a side to Roger Penske we have never seen before. Prozac?

The Weekly Leek Late Breaking news: Bernie (net worth 4.2B) announces Vatican City Grand Prix for 2015! More next week.

Don’t forget to pass this on to a friend and also to tell us what you think about The Weekly Leek.

Peter Bourassa
Head Leeker


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