Ferrari Cancel Agreement to Supply US Ben & Jerry F1 Team!

The Finest in Pale Yellow Journalism

Ferrari SpA announced today that it is, effective immediately, canceling its agreement with Ben & Jerry sponsored F1 Team USA to supply engines and technical assistance for the 2015-18 seasons.

We have discovered that Unilever, (Anglo-Dutch net worth $126.14 Billion) owners of the Ben & Jerry company which sponsors the team (see last week’s The Weekly Leek) contracted with Italian designers Pininfarina (Net worth 50M Euro) to design a toothbrush for Unilever brand Signal. This lucrative distraction has taken engineers from the F1 design team and caused a six week delay in the arrival of down force additions to the Ferrari F1 car. Also the toothbrush looks like a copy of the front wing on the Mercedes F1 car.

Both Ben and Jerry deny any complicity: “For years” Jerry said. “Ben and me have been doing our utmost to rot kid’s teeth all over America, why would we switch sides now?”

A smiling Mercedes spokesperson, with gleaming teeth, said Mercedes knew nothing about this issue.

Bernie Ecclestone has demanded a payment of $27 Million to hold an F1 race in the giant Parking Lot of the Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Plant in Burlington, Vermont.