NRA to Arm F1 Cars

Streaming the Finest in Pale Yellow Journalism

Expanding on the NRA’s new ad campaign theme “CARS KILL MORE PEOPLE THAN GUNS! Wayne LaPierre, Executive Vice-President of the National Rifle Association recently announced that an agreement had been reached with F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone that will see all F1 cars equipped with externally mounted German made Glock handguns. Each gun clip will be loaded with nine “paint balls” in team colors and one live bullet. The deal, details of which have yet to be fleshed out, saw the NRA pay $100M for the exclusive gun rights for the US GP. The check was made out to: German Court – Expunging Bribery Charges Division. “Don’t worry”, Mr. Ecclestone said, “nobody important will be hurt. The guns will be electronically disabled in the proximity of all luxury boxes and F1 drivers are notoriously bad shots.”

Oofy Prosser

European Correspondent