Yellow Jouralism at it Very Best

The Weekly Leek has learned that Mercedes is pulling out of F1 at year end!

Mercedes Chairman Slams Ecclestone Management – Greedy and Stupid!

Dr. Dieter Zetsche (net worth $17.8M), Chairman of Mercedes Benz, has slammed Formula One marketing for their poor performance at the recent German GP. “Some grandstands were completely empty” he complained, “Others were completely occupied by nuns from the Vatican learning what F1 is all about prior to the recently announced 2017 Vatican GP. Others were rented to Dutch MTG (Motorcycle Transvestite Gang) the rowdiest in Europe”.

He also slammed as unfair Ecclestone’s (net worth $4.2B) income distribution model saying, “Ferrari get $100M, Red Bull get $70M and we get $12M, is that effing fair! “We bring fresh bagels to every goddam meeting!”

“As we say at the brothel”, he concluded, “if things don’t improve, we’re pulling out!”

Bernie Responds to Dr. Z!

First, Bernie says, “I’m not at all a stranger to German brothels and I have never seen the son of a bitch there once! And, he’s not a real doctor! I asked him about this rash on my knees that I got at the Vatican and he didn’t know what I was talking about. That’s not a doctor. The man’s a hack! I don’t care if they pull out. They’re bloody bagels were stale as hell anyway.

Oophy Prosser
MMR European Correspondent