Pontiff Stuns Praying Pilgrims

The Weekly Leek Motorsports News

Pontiff Stuns Praying Pilgrims: Announces 2017 Vatican GP - Canonizes Bernie

July 18, 2014. Vatican City. A crowd of 50K+ in St. Peter’s Square cheered as lustily as Catholicism permits, when Pope Francis (net worth $10-15B) and Bernie Ecclestone (net worth $4.2B), the world’s two richest old men, arrived in the new Pope Mobile; a pure white, Ferrari F1 car with a railed standing platform over the engine area. “Fastest Italian F1 Car ever built!” proclaimed the proud Pope.

From his balcony the two men announced that they had reached an agreement, terms undisclosed, that would bring the F1 circus to Vatican City in 2017. One man in the crowd was heard to say: “who’s that up there next to Bernie?” In an exclusive interview held at the Papal Palace after the Canonization ceremony, St. Bernie (St. Bernard was already taken) explained to The Weekly Leek that he had been negotiating with the competition for some time to hold an F1 race in a warmer place but “they couldn’t come up with the money”. “Pleasant chap” St.B said, “we did a lot of business over the years, but the 2008 downturn hit him hard when Wall Street found religion.”

R. Cantwell-Beech,

Correspondent