UniLever to Sponsor Haas Racing F1 Team USA

The Finest in Pale Yellow Journalism

UniLever to Sponsor Haas Racing F1 Team USA

Anglo-Dutch Food conglomerate UniLever (Market cap: $126.B) has announced plans to sponsor the 2015 Haas Racing United States entry in F1.

A spokesperson for the Rotterdam based Unilever explained that “In exchange for an undisclosed sum paid to the FIA and FOTA (Formula One Teams Association), Unilever will have the opportunity to tailor the livery on its two F1 GP cars differently at each race if it so chooses."

Our Lipton Tea car will have vintage livery from the sixties. Many will remember that Lipton Tea was a major partner to Colin Chapman’s Lotus Motorcars from 1964 through 1966. This car will be driven by seventeen year old, Saheed Gandi. She was raised in Dallas and is currently astonishing the European F2 series.

Our second car will carry the many colors of Ben & Jerry’s Frozen Yogurt. We are very excited to announce that the livery will be changed for every race to reflect the market where the race is being held and to introduce new flavors. Our first race flavor, to be introduced at the Australian GP, will be a delicious blend of vanilla ice cream, native kiwi fruit, and pure white sand. We call it “Blunder Down Under”. In keeping with the trend in F1 to give younger drivers a chance we have signed nine year old Jerry Bolden Jr. to drive the B&J car, as we call it. Jerry shows great promise.

Oofy Prosser

MMR European Correspondent